theamusingadventuresof:theboyinthereflectionv2.2

and the mortality of man unfolds in an instant.

Friday, June 29, 2007

mused @ 10:57 AM

its has been quite a blitz, the last few weeks or so.

16/06/07 was the day i met with jon ang and his girlfriend and this was followed by the party at wenjie's house.

18-21/06/07 was the week where day in day out i went for intensive driving lessons. every morning 8-10. where my instructor said with my current standards i would fail the first time.

22/06/07 was the first time i took my driving test. (technically, it was my third time, after canceling the first 2 test dates) my leg was wobbling on the clutch and my heart was in my mouth. during the morning warm up, i had hit the kerb thrice in the crank course.

during the actual test, i got this examiner who looked like he had come out of one of those period chinese dramas; with his moustache and all. when he spoke, he was like those villains in those really old movies. 'turn......left......' dead tone yet creepy. was damn nervous in the circuit and thank God i just chucked my feelings out of the window and just drove according to what i learnt and got out of the circuit with no points. on the road, i made some silly mistakes and saw the examiner ticking away on the piece of paper. then i started t get worried. i was thinking whether i had accidentally crossed the stop line, whether i had given way to pedestrians... My car stalled twice, but luckily that was just AFTER a slope area, or else i would have been pretty much done for. on my final turn back to cdc, i even turned back in the wrong lane. (-4)

at cdc, my examiner told me take your things and follow me. we went up to the second storey, went to a room filled with tables where various examiners faced the testees, chastising their mistakes made during the test. he sat beside me and flipped the white paper indicating my demerit points back and forth. in his quick flips, i caught hold of some of the points. no instant failures (whew) no -8s (whew), but why so many ticks?

"you know you made (xyz) mistake?" i wasn't really absorbing what he was saying. i just wanted to know my marks. so just said 'yes sir, yes sir', but in essence didn't really care. after a few calculated flips of the paper (to scare me i believe), he flipped to the last page, wrote 12 in the box, and ticked passed and suddenly the world became a happier place.

23/06/07 - got a macbook pro. yes its was financially heartbreaking and more so as i didn't buy it myself. it was also the first time i drove, which turned out to be a horrible experience. probably because i didn't get used to the car.

in the afternoon, went to play for the first time (after missing the first 4 games or so) for the church soccer team. we were late as i was late but the opponents did not show up. we were awarded a walkover. it was only then that the opponent team showed up, citing some mix up in logistics. so we played with them one half worth of soccer which went 3-1 to us. i didn't have much to do, my defenders did most of my work. the goal i let in was because i didn't parry the free kick (which was well taken) hard enough, letting the strikers to pounce on the rebound to score. i can still improve definitely, even though most likely i will be playing as the 2nd team keeper.

at night, 4/2 had a class gathering. it was ages since we met up. nearly half the class was there and no one had really changed. well if you don't count you sheng being less blur but i guess thats a good change..

27/06/07 - had dinner with my provost friends. lta tey came back from australia for holiday and it was occasion for us to meet and talk cock. jowee is getting married but other than that and a strange revelation (!)

27/06/07 - received word that andrew tham was in icu. andrew tham was one of my classmates in primary school and i have not spoken to him since then. but seeing someone your age in icu is a severe jolt to the system. i may not have known him well after my primary school days but i did know him, i never did i think that any of my friends will turn up in icu so young. i saw him yesterday. he was still in a coma, head wrapped in bandages. sobering sight.

it is a bit coincidental that i have been meeting friend after friend that i have not met in ages over the past few weeks. followed by passing my driving on friday then finding out that one of primary school friends got knocked down by a car.

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The Lie of Love

Monday, June 18, 2007

mused @ 5:16 PM

Found this on a website I stumbled upon.

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The Lie of Love

It's on the lips of the heartbroken and downtrodden, it's in the poetry of the cheated-on and the abandoned and it's in the hearts of the abused an trampled, those four little words, "Love is a lie!"

But love is not a lie, nor is it a trap to make you weep or a game played by fools and other over-emotional buffoons. Love is as real as the air we breathe, the earth we walk on and the water we drink. It's there, always lurking, often hiding but always around and waiting to strike.

The lie of love isn't that it doesn't exist but rather the fairy tale the world has made it out to be. Every story that ends in "happily ever after" has had but one moral, that all you need is love and if you have that, everything in the world will be perfect.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

While love is important and a beautiful thing, it is just one of many factors in determining how happy one truly is. There are millions of people who are passionately enthralled in perfect love, but are still completely miserable. At the same time, there are just as many people who have never even approached the idea of love, but are leading happy and content lives.

Love is no key to happiness, nor is it the grand answer or mighty pinnacle of existence. It's just another factor and like having lots of money, a great job or unimaginable success, it does nothing to guarantee happiness. If the cliché "money can't by happiness" is to be believed, so must the mantra of "love doesn't guarantee joy."

But that doesn't change the fact that from the day we're born until the day we die, we're told what love and happiness means. Every romance story in print and on the screen bombards us with images that make it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that with love, happiness ensues and without it, there's nothing but misery and bitterness.

The truth is bitter, this I know, but this lie cannot be tolerated any longer. It has done more to drive the masses to the brink of insanity than anything. With so many running around in a misguided quest for love, seeing it as some holy grail of happiness, they're only set up for more pain, more anguish and many walk away with the words "love is a lie" streaming from their lips.

Let the truth be known from this day forth that yes, love is great, love is beautiful and love is wonderful, but real happiness comes from within and love is no magic cure for all the ailments of the heart. Happiness, like the other mysteries of life, is little more than a jigsaw puzzle that must be assembled within each of us. There are no easy answers, quick fixes or cheap tricks to get us to the end goal and each of us must look for the real answers, not in the lie of love, but within ourselves, our actions and our goals.

Take it from me dear reader, take it from me all, the key to the future, your future, is in your hands and no one can unlock it for you. Love is not a key to unlock an enchanted door, but a tool to build your own happiness and your own better existence

Because if there's one thing I've learned during my time on this planet, it's that none of life's mysteries are easy and the minute you rely on someone or something else to provide the answers for you, you've taken the first step to leading yourself astray and possibly to your own destruction.

A destruction that eats you literally from the inside out..

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this is for yesterday.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

mused @ 1:27 AM

it was a day of nostalgia.

in the afternoon, i met jon ang and his girlfriend at the esplanade in the heavy rain. managed to reach the esplanade just in time for the concert.

they played famous tunes from super mario, zelda, metal gear solid and world of warcraft. it sure beats mp3s, with the raw emotion of the piece shining through. i won't talk much about it there but go to jon ang's blog (to the right) for more information. it was just brilliant. one winged angel... never thought i would have heard it live. amazing and brilliant.

i headed to wenjie's house after that to celebrate his 21st birthday. we played a prank on him by giving him a 'razor' mouse, a mouse ataris- conveniently drew the razor logo along with a 'exactmat' mousepad. it was hilarious.

but of course, what made the birthday memorable was not the prank or the chocolate fondue (though that was pretty good). it was the people.

wenjie's army friends were there and i knew most of them through playing dota. poppocud (st), valariel (jun ming), ataris (hui teng) and xxblitzxx (jacob).

some of my friends from temasek secondary were there too: steve, ramasamy, dilip and miss wong.

and of course 21/03 tjc - min, charlene, adrian, leslie, boon meng, pao ee, kumar, chuan and kat.

there was plenty of catching up done, the latest gossips about what had happened in our lives, what was happening in our class mates lives and people around us. even after not meeting like for 5 months, we just gelled together so fast, talking and talking. it was like a day had only passed since we last met. hardly a silent or dull moment.

i guess spending 2(4) years together is not something time can erase. even though we have our differences (in many aspects of character, personality and outlook), its the synergy that makes it tick. you can try to forget, try to let it go, but it will always be there for you, whether you want it or not.

we finally did give wenjie his present. i hope he enjoys it.

when you go forward, sometimes, a little of yesterday is nice too..

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clocks ticking. lets go.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

mused @ 10:21 PM

7 july is the day i leave kaiiten.

1 august is the day school supposedly starts.

27 august is the day i lived for 7670.25 days.

oh how time goes along.

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desire. one day will die too.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

mused @ 2:40 PM

plenty of things have happened.

i helped zoo/eu yan sang organise an event at the singapore zoo. it was a hectic hectic time. a lot of mad rushes (press release only ready the night before the event, leading to me staying at the zoo all the way till 9pm; back to office at 10pm working till 12 midnight to rush out the things i needed)
but the satisfaction was there, when the article came out in the dailies, television and radio.

i also managed to talk one of the managers at the zoo, whom i had been working with over the period of time. she told me in advertising and public relations its a matter of perseverance and hard work. its not all glitz and glamour once you step into the life. its a lot of deadlines, slogging. your pay won't exponentially increase till you are in the line long enough, provided you get there. late nights, sleeplessness and pushy clients who want the world. it is dominated by 'white men' and it gets harder as you go higher. it not your normal 9-5 job.

i have been interning at kaiiten communications for 6 months already. i probably have learnt more compared to doing data entry or admin work.

wanna know what i have learnt?

Soft Skills

- Always do a last minute confirmation

- Always ask for a contact to reply to

- Research is always necessary

- Talk slower when I make calls

- Always introduce yourself when making calls

PR/IR Related

- What are Press Releases/Advisories

- Financial Technicalities

- That being PR, you are the middleman and must make both sides happy

- Calling News Agency to check on whether Press Releases have been through

- That if you are the client, you make the people come to you and that if you are the service provider you go to them

- That we send mails/make calls to the media to interest them

this is the bare minimum. of course there are a lot of nitty gritty stuff. and this list was written by me 3 months ago. in a while, i have another chance to talk to my boss about what i have learnt.

in my time at kaiiten, i have seen (and am seeing) 3 staff leave. its not the environment. i just guess it takes a certain kind of person to pr work. and at 6 months here i am more lao jiao compared to some full time staff.

other than work, the other thing that has been taking up time is driving. i hate driving. i have to learn it as i don't expect my parents to drive me around. my instructor hates me (i think i am his worst pupil ever) and tells me i will never pass first time. the problem is i have to pass first time
or else my retest will collide with my time in ntu. which i don't want. and the hassle of travelling from ntu to eunos will kill me. if you are reading this, please pray for me to pass first time on 22 June 07.

speaking about prayer, yes, i have not attended church for the last 1 year. no i don't have a good reason. i feel so alienated somehow, if i go back now. but i feel i have become more angry, a vicious entity inside me threatening to explode. at least i know. all my problems stem back to 15 june 2003. exactly middle of the year. ever since then, my social, religious life has been like this.

aaron is finally coming back after 3 years in taiwan for good. he will be back 20 june 07 permanently. amelia will be back on the 24 of june 07. for a period of about 1 month. and finally dad will be back for good come july.

soccer on saturdays ( i play goalie exclusively, because i can't play outfield for nuts) keep me going a bit. but thats so much it can bring me. and even then i don't go regularly.

save me from the nothing i have become.

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